📖 Sneak Peek – Read a Few Laughs Before You Buy!
💬 Here are a few short excerpts from my book. If they make you laugh, just imagine what the rest of the book will do!
📌 EXCERPT 1: From "Introduction"
"Some people ask me, ‘Steve, who's the target audience for your book?’
And I tell them:
‘My book is for anyone who is gay, knows someone who's gay, or someone who is NOT gay but would like to be! Or… a straight guy who’s had a gay experience—like wearing a belt that matches his shoes.’”
📌 EXCERPT 2: From "Epistolary Possibilities for a New Year"
"After not working out for a month, I arrived at the gym only to realize my gym bag had turned into a mildew science project thanks to a rogue water bottle. Unfortunately, I discovered this catastrophe only after I'd stripped down in the locker room. I panicked, naturally, but I was too far gone to turn back. I had no choice but to wear my stinky clothes."
"Now, I’m not religious, but in moments like these, I consider a higher power. I clutched my hands together and said a novena to the patron saint of putrid smells: ‘Our Lady of Sacred Stench, please help me now.’”
"Once on the gym floor, I tried to keep a safe distance from everyone. But when someone got too close, I’d suddenly dash to another part of the gym for no apparent reason. I’d seen my cat do this, so it seemed worth a try…"
📌 EXCERPT 3: From "Bitch Ass Snitch"
"One day, I ‘snitched’ to the Dean about a student of mine who had tagged his desk with a box cutter blade. The next day, when he came back, in front of the whole class, he called me a ‘bitch ass snitch’ and ran out of the classroom.
"Later that day, in the staff parking lot, I discovered someone had vandalized my car.”
"Gee, I wonder who that could have been?
"Of course, I came to one conclusion… ‘Karma's a bitch… for a bitch ass snitch!’”
📌 EXCERPT 4: From "Changing Closets"
"Originally, I was in the closet for being gay… but now I'm in the closet about my age.
"To counter the effects of aging, I’ve reluctantly adhered to diet and exercise mandates. I even tried becoming a vegetarian… although not a strict one."
"Occasionally, I’d eat chicken, fish, and ass. I’m kidding, I kid. I didn’t eat chicken...."
😆 Want More Laughs? Get the Whole Book!