“Late Bloomer Baby Boomer” uses humor to create a bridge of camaraderie between generations
By Siegfried Schaefer-09/27/2023
Late Bloomer Baby Boomer by Steve Milliken (2022)
In a time when the far right looks to conquer and divide minority groups, it is important that the queer community (and all other marginalized communities) do all we can to stay united amidst the culture war the majority of Republicans are waging against us. One way that we can do this is to create a space in which everyone, regardless of their background, can access. Far too often, people who are growing in their years find themselves isolated, even in a time when record numbers of LGBTQ people come out of the closet.
Late Bloomer Baby Boomer comes from the experience of a gay man from a Catholic background in Southern California. Steve Milliken, of Brown Derby, modeling, acting, and teaching experience, provides a variety of essays from various stages in life. All leaning to the comedic edge, they are not all about the gay male experience but are good for a laugh all the same.
Learning a good sense of humor at an early age, throughout his life, Milliken knew how to command an audience — be it from pretending to be the DMV on the phone in the 70s to unleashing a flatus machine of 1001 Nights’ Abu Hassan quality at the bank during the height of COVID.
Though this collection is as funny as it is, it describes a coming-of-age experience that many queer people experience. While education around LGBTQ topics and sex in general has vastly improved in the past decade, many people may have to experience a coming of age that is different from their heterosexual and/or cisgender neighbors.
As mentioned before, Milliken came from a Catholic upbringing. Obviously, as the queer community is vast, not everyone has the same explicit background as each other. But for those in the United States, our culture shares a puritanical view of sex, no matter how much it may be shoved in our faces in media and pop culture.
As a result, even our straight counterparts may be apprehensive around sex. For us, we may even have a later sexual awakening due to this. This is not even mentioning the topic of gender, which ruffles many right-wing feathers. This is a topic that Milliken goes over in one chapter, with a very nuanced look back on his experiences bending the binary as a child.
For those of us who struggle with self-perception, we may opt to attack each other as a result of our superficial differences, be it out of spite or ignorance. One of the most important themes that can be taken from this collection is that we are better together, and it highlights our similarities despite our other differences.
At the end of the day, all of us are under increasing threats of violence. The most vulnerable groups are the first targeted at the moment, but those who wish them harm are only biding their time before they turn their attention to the LGBTQ community as a whole. This book reminds us with extremely funny anecdotes and essays that we will survive together and the best remedy for the stress of living with a marginalized identity truly is laughter.
by Steve Milliken ISBN 9798367529920
Is There A Gay Generation Gap?
We are surrounded with the idea that Boomers are out of touch while Gen Z seems to not care about anything.
SEPTEMBER 29, 2023 GAYINTHECLE
There are not many of us who have not heard the term “generation gap.” It can cause misunderstandings from one generation to another. We are surrounded with the idea that Boomers are out of touch while Gen Z seems to not care about anything. Is there any truth to these modalities? That depends a lot on who you talk to. As a GenXer, I often see those differences plastered all across pop culture and our world.
What if the generation gap wasn’t only limited to ages, what if there was a generation gap that existed between older gays and younger gays, what would that look like and how would either side approach it? Have no fear, author Steven Milliken is here to officiate those discussions with his book, Late Bloomer, Baby Boomer. So grab your favorite beverage, a cozy blanket, and snuggle up in your favorite seat as we discuss this book.
Who is this guy?
Steven Milliken is a baby boomer who was born in Southern California. He is a self-proclaimed class clown who became a teacher who found his way into writing. Milliken has stated that he wanted to become an actor, comedian, and a writer. He also had strong ambitions to become a waiter… to eat everything on the menu. What we see is that Milliken is a man who has ambitions and a lovely view on how to get where he wants in life.
Milliken owes his writing to being a class clown in high school then later maintaining that title as he became a high school English teacher. Milliken often used humor to de-escalate situations in school and prevent being bullied.
Milliken uses the power of humor to share his experiences growing up as a gay baby boomer in a time when homosexuality was still considered a mental illness. Milliken has said that you cannot learn to be funny but you can learn to develop it like any other muscle. That humor often comes from some void that can stem back to our childhood.
The birth of a book
MIlliken’s writing career started shortly before he became a high school teacher. He began writing humorous essays about life. He shared those stories with friends from high school who encouraged Milliken to publish them. As is the nature of things, work gets in the way and he only managed to write a few essays a year. Twenty years after his job as a high school teacher, the dream to write a book finally became true.
Late Bloomer Baby Boomer (A collection of humorous essays about being gay back in the day and finally finding my way) is MIlliken’s collection of 38 essays that chronicle his life from the 1950s through today. He finds humor as a gay man in navigating the coming out process and dealing with being gay in a time when it was still considered a mental illness. MIlliken’s hope with his book is to create humor and make people laugh. In a world seriousness is everywhere and the next dark event is just around the corner, we need more works of art that teach us not to take ourselves and things too seriously.
Late Bloomer Baby Boomer
There was a time before this when meeting another queer person took effort and perseverance. You couldn’t just whip out your smart phone and with a press of a screen have Grindr or Tinder provide you with a buffet of choices. Before this, it took work.
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“Before Grindr, Tinder or Match.com, the personal ads flourished amongst gay men who wanted to avoid the ageist, bar scene.”
Your options were either to go to a bar to meet someone, the local LGBTQ paper for the classified ads. This was the height of hook up technology, even before phone party lines. You could either read and respond to the ads in the paper for free, or you could place you own.
In an essay titled “The Personal Ads (How Not to Meet the Man of your Dreams”, Milliken shares his experiences with the dating ads. Oddly enough, from the placing of the ad to meeting the person in real life isn’t that much different from today’s means of scrolling through endless Grinder profiles and meeting someone. Let’s take a look at MIlliken’s experience.
“Late one night in 1990, I came upon an enticing ad that simply stated, ‘MId years body builder stud seeks romantic relationship with attractive younger gay white male.’” After a few short phone calls later they decided to meet at a public social function. Milliken was told that he would be able to recognize his date easily as he would be the only one wearing a black tank top at a church function. That Sunday, Milliken set off to meet his date, for the first time.
“Ordinarily my immediate reaction would be to flee, but I was so traumatized by his grotesque appearance that I could only manage a few baby steps backwards. Then he saw me. I was paralyzed. I hoped my eyes betrayed me.”
It is nice to see that hook ups have not really changed throughout history.
A pucker for a fucker
I don’t always get approached to review a book but I am always excited each and every time it happens. Surprisingly, many of these requests are from heterosexual authors wanting to share their growing up stories of their mother or father coming out to them. It typically focuses on how they feel about it and adapt to it. While that is a good lesson, I would much prefer to have a queer author’s book to review. So when Steven MIlliken’s book was offered to me, I just had to write about it. Especially when it is approaching life’s stories and lessons with humor.
In my life, I have also learned to try to take humor where you can get it. Sex has been one area where laughing can break tension and make the experience a bit easier to deal with. Milliken has no shortages of that in his book. Especially when it comes to sex toys like the fleshlight
“I’ve never topped successfully, so I thought this would broaden my narrow repertoire. However, the fleshy, sphincter like opening of said device was so miniscule I was intimidated from the get-go, just like real life. ‘How can I possibly fit into something so tiny?’” Unfortunately, there were no desperately needed directions, or step by step tips. While I’m average in size, I always wished I were well hung, but now I wished I had a pencil dick just so I could get my money’s worth. Due to insurmountable odds, I put it away and out of memory.”
Many of us have probably had some experience with a fleshlight and how when we received it wondered if we ordered the right thing. It is refreshing that someone like Milliken can take something that most of us have had experience and frustration with and cast it in a light that can make us laugh and see the humor in something so pervy at the same time.
Mind the gap, the generation gap
Milliken writes in a way that anyone can relate to his stories, whether you are gay or straight, Boomer or Gen Zer. Experiences often transcend gender, sexual identity, and age and to be able to poke a little fun at them can offer a lesson in a way we may not have seen it before.
Sharing life’s lessons allows a writer to make a connection with their audience in a way that educational books often lack. It is a chance to see the person as a human or equal, to understand them on a level that makes it feel like we are talking to a friend or colleague.
During an interview, Milliken was asked what message does he hope readers will take from his memoirs and his answer was too perfect.
“Joan Rivers once said that making someone laugh is like giving them a mini vacation. I’m passionate about making people laugh.” – Steven Milliken
There are important truths in that statement. Life can chew us up and spit us out. We are faced with a world that doesnt accept us and, still to this day, wants us to disappear. Learning to laughing at life can take all the darkness away, even for a little while. This can give us a moment to see that there are bright spots to be had and experiences to be enjoyed.
What are you waiting for
It is refreshing to find a book that can leave you with a smile, long after you have finished reading it and Late Boomer Baby Boomer is a book that does just that. Having an author that doesnt take themselves to seriously and only seek to entertain their audiences is also a rare treat, anymore. Make sure you get a copy of this book so you can share in the wonderment of navigating life, love, sex, and humor from a time when being gay wasnt as easy.
If you want to learn more about the author, Steven Milliken, you can check him out on his Instagram or on Facebook. You can also find more information about Steven Milliken on the book’s website. You can find his book on Amazon. So, what are you waiting for? Get those fingers a typing and buy his book today.
